There is nothing wrong with trying to talk to your ex about getting back together at some point. Reddit Ridiculousness Today at 9:38 AM "WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to apologise for embarrassing me in front of my friends" Found this one on facebook so no link. Then eldest decided she wants to finish out high school at the public school to which we are zoned (and it is an excellent school). He would always come over as soon as he could and he always asked me if i needed anything. I destroyed a man who looking back was a great husband. Anytime we have a party, appointment, etc. I won't let her. I don't know what to do with him anymore. Finally, the third time, I filed for divorce and went through with it. To get sexual propositions in an attempt to be let back in. Make yourself a priority the next time you two have a day off. He told me that he didnt know if he could. Do be honest with your kids. This is advice for men and women. It can add even more pressure if you are a stay at home mom, and he works full time to keep the finances in order. This would have made me swoon a couple years earlier, but that night I couldn't even look at him and I pretended to be sick. He said that the pain has been too much for too long and that if we got back together that I might just turn around and do it to him again. You’ve made your interest clear and the ball will ultimately be in his court. The first thing you should do, if you haven’t already, is apologize. It's cruel and abusive to your son, though. I deprived my kids of having a great father in the house with them and I took his kids away from him. The key is not that you don’t make [huge] mistakes. In November the following year, over Thanksgiving dinner, the couple got engaged. Or undiagnosed BPD. I think my husband is having an affair!Our relationship hasn't been right since we moved to our present house, two months ago. My husband always puts his family first. DON'T BE THIS PERSON. It's about to the point where I'm considering talking to my lawyer to see what my options are, because she won't stop doing it. I knew that it was wrong but it made me feel so alive, and my husband had not made me feel like that in years. For real. Most seemed to be women who were actually angry at one man in their life. I'm mid chew right now and if she signed the papers and came back at me, I'd tell her to enjoy her own shit sandwich I'm full. I've told him a million times how much I hate being late for things but he just doesn't get it. I helped her with her depression. And seeing your husband broken and your children never happy because of your actions is the most painful experience that I can imagine. You treated him terribly. And I got nothing out of it. I never do this to him. I don't believe that people ever really change, they only regret it when things don't go their way. Communicate and try to come to a solution together. Well my first suggestion is to talk to him about it. You will find both the betrayed spouse and the ones who cheated commenting here. Getting divorced is not fun. This person just went on a week long "family vacation" with her ex, but describes him as a "gaslighting, emotionally abusive narcissist" and then says their child needs to see them as a team. I still remember him asking me in the meeting with the lawyer to please not go through with it. There was also rarely a single clean dish and the laundry sat in piles so long that I had to start doing the sniff test to see if it could be worn again. Just understand that the ultimate answer may be “no.” If it is, you all still have to interact with one another and regardless of what happened, improving yourself will make your whole life better. Continue to go to therapy. Could you tell us what exactly you are missing from the marriage, aside from the fact that being single is hard work? My hours weren't any shorter and his were on and off fulltime. And like your husband I can't do it. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/Divorce. She lamented her cheating, her cruelty, her constant fault-finding, but mostly she said she missed my friendship and could we please try again. Now 76, she wishes she had done it years earlier. I wish all of you well and hope that you will give your marriages a second chance. I also never saw my kids more miserable. Today's example. Most nights when I got home they were already getting ready for bed if not already sleeping. He said that hurt him more than anything else and that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again. We live in a picture-perfect house complete with all the trappings that reflect a comfortable life. That’s partially up to him. Life isn't always greener, but you can't force someone to see that. Eldest says she wants a larger social circle. It went pretty smoothly. You don't share a suite with them and expect good coparenting. So she divorced me thinking she could somehow afford it herself. Used me for schooling 100 g over the years, I worked full time, she was in school had an affair after treating me like shit, I tried to salvage for 2 years then she took me to the cleaners after I said I would not be just roommates. He was at his weakest and that was when I chose to tell him that I wanted a divorce. Some divorces involved infidelity. pls.help me how to track my husband location coz he always come home late and do want to answer phone if I call him..my email Thread starter sherlyreyes Start date Oct 30, 2014 So I let it happen. I started posting things about him, from my perspective only, and I got so much positive feedback for how I was feeling that I knew I was right. We'd had our issues, but we were never abusive and always had love in our home. I dont know if I cried as much in my whole life as i did in the first month in her office. I really wasnt interested in fixing our marriage, but i mostly ended things with the other guy but only because i knew i could get it back if I wanted it. Leaving me for 6 hours alone with the kids isn't fair and it's a lot of work and when you tell me you'll be home at a certain time but then you're hours late, it drives me nuts.". I thought he was just a friend but talking at work turned into texting at home and then pictures and videos and then trying to sneak some alone time with him. What I mean by reconciling is that you should make an effort to repair your overall relationship as it stands. If you can't be nice go elsewhere. Finally after a couple months my friends convinced me to go out on a date. My oldest is less social and more awkward than he should be, my girls act infantile and like children 2-3 years their junior. In my experience, men learn by example. There is one thing FAR more awkward. Late people always aim to arrive to the minute, leaving no room for contingency. This is why we can't have nice things. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. You have to physically put them in your shoes to make them understand why what they're doing is wrong. Always Late with Katie Nolan is a late-night sports comedy show covering the big (and small) stories of the week. Jonna Miller and her husband David, both 20-somethings from Leesburg, Indiana, first started dating in October 2012. He kept saying that he would try harder but that it was hard being home all the time. After thinking cohabitation might be possible, we're now realizing that we need to figure out how to afford two households and go on. If he works all day, then comes home and acts irritable, then he is likely under a lot of pressure. Good for you for realizing your role in this. She sounds awful and he deserves someone so much better. She's had some narcissist issues with her family and joined all these FB groups to help her understand them. After about 2 thousand dollars of therapy sessions I learned that my XH had his faults, but I figured out that mine were so much worse. Just getting up and going to the bathroom has been a struggle. But now she regrets it and has been dropping hints at getting back together. Mine used divorce to try and manipulate me to get what she wanted. Valerie Bertinelli posts heartbreaking tribute to late ex-husband Eddie Van Halen "I will see you in our next life my love," Bertinelli wrote. Being alone I couldnt work all those extra hours that I was expected to. Edit 2:. We never had a lot of money but with my promotion I was now making more than he was. When I previously said there is nothing more awkward than than to keep getting propositions to get back together, I was wrong. I helped her with her alcoholism. He said that hurt him more than anything else and that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again. Oh how I longed to hear those words! It was truely heartbreaking. You blamed your husband for most of your unhappiness and ultimately made decisions that negatively impacted yourself and your entire family. I could see that he was trying and occasionally i would let him know, but for the most part I kept being a huge bitch to him for any and all reasons that I could think of. NPD people you run like fucking hell from until you're sure you're safe, then you run some more just for good measure. When I would get home I would find clean dishes and laundry and even dinner sometimes. Unless there's a factor of abuse, I can never understand people who don't attempt 50/50 custody. After a few months of my new job it was clear to me that things were not going well at home without me there. But just last week, an announcement went out that Sarah’s husband had died. Latest Episodes. You made a series of really big mistakes. I knew that it was hurting him but I didnt care. Like your husband I'm a fool for trying so hard for as long as I did, I'd deserve the gold medal for stupid if I accepted her back. Press J to jump to the feed. After Christy Hester lost her husband, Richard, in January, there was one thing she was having trouble parting with: his glasses. Since I've talked to him many times about how his childish behaviour bugs me and he never changes I will give him a taste of his own medicine. I blew my knee 6 weeks ago and have basically been completely incapacitated. My greatest sadness is spending the prime of my life with an ungrateful spoiled woman. Sorry for the off topic rant, but I had to dogpile on the above. If your husband is always angry, your husband may be stressed out. To Tim: The phrase "my late husband" means, of course, my husband who died recently, or "is lately dead." This is getting lots of traffic I'm going to sticky it for a while. My heart and my soul, my self worth were tied up in our marriage and she destroyed all of it. In the first month after he moved out I missed garbage day 3 times. He would never say too much after I got home. I told her everything that had happened starting with the promotion that I got at work. There’s going to be a lot of people on here telling you that they think your ex should never take you back. Perceptions of unpunctual people are almost always negative — even if misguided. We apologize, this video has expired. Take your sweet time. For the next couple years things kept getting worse. Share this article via facebook Share this article via twitter. If your comment is two words and the second one is "you" I'm going to remove it. I asked him about getting back together. He was broken, but I was free. Jonna then gave birth to a daughter, Delanie, in February 2014, and the … "Where late bloomed the lilacs." This happens all the time. There are times when your husband may come late from a party or be stuck at work and you become anxious and uneasy unless he gets back safe. I ended up in her office 2 and sometimes 3 times a week, and the more that I talked to prove that I was right, the more that I started to see how wrong I was. I wouldn't take you back. 9.Your husband seems to have suddenly turned caring and keeps calling to ask where you are. 'Always with me': Céline Dion honors late husband on anniversary of his death Celine Dion posted a touching message to late husband Rene Angelil on the third anniversary of his death. There was no convenient time for him to be working full time because of my hours, but we also needed the money. I let her go with the flow and momentum she had with the FB support and whatever delusion she was following. Your husband may decide to be coming home late so as to avoid helping you to take care of the children by ensuring they have done their homework, taken a shower, eaten and going to bed on time. I know it's just a couple hours but it's the lack of communication, punctuality and respect that bugs me. Please dont just take the advice of anyone on this site or any other about getting a divorce. It really didnt matter. He would get so upset with how I was treating him and I would just wait and egg him on into losing it because i knew it would happen eventually. Fri, 3/6 - Always Late w/ Katie Nolan. I would have paid any price, made any promise, done anything to try again...but for the divorce. You have the ability to be a positive influence on that dynamic and I would strongly recommend that that be where you concentrate your efforts . This. This is going to sound petty. He said that he always thought that I would realize how much he loved me and stop up until i signed the divorce papers and let out a big over exaggerated sigh of relief. I even pretended that I didnt care when he found out about my relationship with the guy from work. I finally gave in and starting calling XH to watch the kids. Yes he'll be upset and overwhelmed and annoyed. Good luck in the future, I hope you're able to learn from your mistakes and find happiness. Contributors to this sub are going through a divorce, have been through one, or are contemplating the decision. Its hard to say, but my wife had a quick turn around after 5 months of wanting divorce after some household catastrophe and things were the best they've been in years; then 2 months later got more distant and was back on divorce train. She says there is no one else (now) and there is no motivation or reason to think otherwise (no fault state). You may not get one. The key is that you must learn from them and use them to become a better version if you. I helped her through finishing her education. I was tired of being unhappy and I was doing this for me. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Being divorced is not fun. morbidmommy11/Reddit and Cavan Images/Getty This pregnant woman’s husband and father-in-law will not stop obsessing over the idea that she ‘will’ die during childbirth. Right around 5 years I got a promotion at work and i got it in my head that my XH was dragging me down, or at least holding me back from more success and a better life. I don't hate women, but after the way my ex treated me during the divorce and the animosity she still shows me 3 years later, I can't even fathom letting her or even the chance of going through that back into my life anymore. I like this suggestion. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Likely alcohol is a factor in him being late. But if he doesn't respond well to that and he continues acting like a child without responsibilities to take care of at home, try that experiment. Kids are smart, lying to them will cause much more resentment in the long run than being open and honest with them. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I can’t say he never would, but by your own admission there doesn’t seem to be much of any reason he should. I am going through the final steps in separating; trying to have two households while still paying private school tuition seemed impossible. He seems least interested in sex and always says that he is either tired or has a bad headache. He and they don't deserve to be punished for the choices that you made. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. Whenever he brought up the contradiction I would tell him that he needed to figure it out. I spent the rest of the night in bed while he waited on me and checked on me and even made me different food and brought it to me in bed. I also was having a lot of trouble with work. Mostly the videos seem like women complaining that certain men do not share their vision of the world or the way people are supposed to act. I could almost hear his heart shattering inside his chest. Related Nigerian News. This just brings them into the middle of it. If you really are sorry, tell him you’re sorry. I don't expect it to ever happen and even if I somehow got her to read this, she'd just say "that's nice I won't ever feel the way I should about you again sorry." This Reddit AITA will give you goosebumps, make your stomach drop, and cause your blood pressure to rise simultaneously. Our relationship has had consistent traits which I could manage before our daughter was born, but find myself unable to do so now. And me, the one who pushed for the divorce expecting happiness and a life of freedom, spend all my free time sitting at home or sitting on a therapists couch. But do it to him. In my case there was no abuse. One of two men who made false corruption allegations against Manpower Minister Josephine Teo and her husband has apologised and taken down the offending post after legal letters were issued to them.. He has today off so should be helping. I did my best to try to make them happy, but I ended up just buying them toys all the time and the happiness only lasted minutes. My husband made sure to provide us all that we could possibly ask for and I … If he didnt want to be hurt then he would at least try to make me happy. A 37-year-old man has consulted Reddit on whether he is wrong for not wanting to move his late wife’s urn to make his new fiancée happy. Neither time it was about our relationship, both times it was about my job and hours I was working. Their justification for that certainly isn’t wrong. But, I have to sometimes remind myself that everyone fucks up; sometimes catastrophically. I had the whole internet telling me how terrible he is. This is emotionally scarring to them, and will make them resent their dad for something that isn't his fault. "He...just helped make people happy, he was funny, he was a jokester. I was in your husband's situation. By that I don’t necessarily mean get back together. I was a good husband, I didn't make a lot of money then, and we couldn't afford the house she wanted because she changed jobs and make significantly less to be closer to home and our kids. Don’t do that shit again. Within 2 weeks she had gone to the beach with some guy she knew on FB. But pretty much everyone has a personality disorder, if you read these posts. It didnt take her long to stop talking to me at all except to say that she wanted to go to XH house. I could never take her back. Brian Zak. Did you ever actually apologize to him or your kids? To OP: my ex-wife could have written this post so I feel like I may have an idea how your STBXH feels. I used to know the legal term for what your ex is doing, but it escapes me. I did so many awful things and said awful things that I wouldnt want to be with me, but he did. Don't bring the kids into it! It got so bad that I ended up not even going to the movie. XH didnt ask for much besides to not get divorced and to try to work it all out. 234 Shares. She filed divorce twice on me, the dropped the case both times when I agreed to what she wanted. She was soooooo happy hitting me over the head with it and how happy she was going to be without me in her life. You can’t make your husband take you back. She did not agree with me or with any of the encouragment to divorce that I got. If he's made clear that he doesn't want to get back together, don't keep bugging him to. If it's attacking the poster in going to remove it. Don't use sex to try and get him back either. And we were tight. It breaks my heart. Current score:. Hope he finds someone who will love his kids and appreciate him. When he looked at me his eyes were full of tears and a couple went down his cheeks. Don’t expect a warm reception. May I suggest r/eyebleach. Say you need to get to work at 9 a.m. You assume it takes exactly 12 minutes to get to work, so you leave at 8:48. A good therapist will help you with this. I destroyed a man who looking back was a great husband. Husband works CRAZY hours and always has. By Paul and Harvey Taylor-McCartney. A mutual friend was sending me screenshots of her posts and it broke my heart. If your marriage is bad look at yourself first and see if you can make changes. My partner goes out to the park with his friends (that's another issue entirely because it puts us at risk due to Covid) and never comes home when he says he will. I started working longer hours and at the same time his hours were cut so he was at home more. Life isn’t always easy when both you and your husband are called Paul McCartney. My ex did worse. Tell him you're going to the store, leave him with the kids and you'll be back in an hour or two then go to the store and the bank and browse home goods and get your nails done and buy yourself lunch and then tell him you'll be home soon when he texts you and asks where you are. I would usually find a way to make him feel even worse. But when you finally get home and you explain to him that "this is exactly what you did to me last weekend and the weekend before. Whatever childhood dreams she hasn't accomplished are because I've held her back (despite working multiple jobs so she could be a stay at home mom). A week and about a million tears later I was on a therapists couch. There was nothing scientific or any detached evaluation of the behaviors. But then she started spending more time on FB. Caption your own images or memes with our Meme Generator. He would just say to call him if i needed anything and leave. It didnt last long though. Late, as an adjective or adverb, can mean "of late" or "lately," and can be used to refer to a variety of situations which were true until lately, but no longer are. We have 2 kids. I have handled several thousand divorce cases; I have never heard a male client say to me he needs a divorce because he is not "happy. Learn from them. I was not in favor but saving the private school tuition for her is a game changer. Dear OP, you are asking your ex-husband to return to a POW camp with only the weakest promise got the commandant won't torture and cruelly abused him this time. My husband has taken over EVERYTHING. You should be exploring the “why” behind that and taking steps to ensure that you don’t repeat your foolish mistakes. Carol Moffa divorced her husband after 52 years of marriage. The others all told me that they wanted to live with XH too. A Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin meme. 8.Your husband's libido has suddenly taken a dip and it has been months since both of you had sex. Way too many removals and bans. This one jumped out at me. Some nights the dishes werent done when I got home or the kids hadnt eaten or whatever else I could think of to be mad at him about. It's absolutely maddening. Sometimes, if I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I tell him the wrong time to make sure I'm NOT late. It really destroyed me inside to see him holding back tears, but I wasnt going to let him see that. Me, our neighbors, her family, MY family. I thought at the end of the road we'd be happy and live happily ever after. One is a baby who is a lot of work. I think she's having a midlife crisis after being a stay at home mom for a decade and then getting back into the workforce. Don't let yourself get that way again in the future. He always let me know how much he loved me." Learn from it. Within a few years she was convinced that everyone that disagreed with her was a narcissist. Don't lie to them. Second, work toward being a good mother, a good co-parent with your ex, and a good person. I really began to resent him because he was home and because he got to spend time with our kids. Question. That was 4 years ago, she still texts me frequently telling me that she would come back in a heartbeat if I let her. There are some very important things you can do though. And while she says she feels “awful” over the baby name debate, she is adamant she won’t name her new daughter after her husband’s late spouse. I really started to resent him and I pulled away from him. This is a moderated thread. "Late Bishop of Fyfe, but now of Drum." The " A couple weeks ago..." paragraph is me, she has told me numerous times that she thinks I am a great husband (as do her friends) and a wonderful father; but "we've grown apart" and she doesn't feel for me like that anymore and won't again. We were together for 8 years that was mostly good and we have 4 kids. He always looked so sad when it was time to go. Within a few years she was convinced that everyone that disagreed with her was a narcissist. The post Why I threw away old photos of my Husband’s late wife – Reddit User appeared first on BellaNaija. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Thanks. You actually sound a lot like my ex-wife. She had gotten on Tinder too. It was an amazing feeling of freedom. Again, talk to him like an adult first. Some of us initiated our divorce, others were "dumped." I started saying awful things to him and even outright ignoring him. There are many similarities between my STBX and yourself. Give them the truth, but at a level where they are emotionally able to understand. The worst was the night that I came home at a reasonable time and found that he had cleaned the whole house, cooked the whole family dinner and picked out a movie for all of us to watch together. It’s interesting that in the examples given, the one with ADHD is a man and the one without is a woman. We were together 21 years and have 2 kids, 11 and 17. My oldest had seen some of the messages from the other guy months earlier and she knew that XH still wanted to try to work it out. I can tell you from experience, there's absolutely nothing more awkward than to keep getting propositions from someone that you've emotionally cut as many ties from as you can. She had scratched me on the arm one day, she had started to get physical in her attacks. You can bet that the next time he goes out with his friends, he's not going to forget about the level of responsibility he's leaving you to deal with alone. It wasn't just me who knew that XH wasn't worth keeping around. Once you get married, your husband becomes the centre of your world and you are always ensuring that he is fine and safe. Please tell me that you are going to let him start having over nights with his kids. I knew that I was right because he was wrong and that was all that mattered to me. Don't do things like telling the kids that you still love him, and want him to take you back. For example, if I need to be … The few times I have my kids, I can see the negative impact that the divorce continues to cause in them. Sometimes life serves up a shit sandwich and you either starve and die or take a bite. “The situation is horrible, I’m literally losing sleep over this,” she shared on Reddit. Don't tell them the gritty details like you cheated on him, but do tell them that you had made mistakes that hurt the relationship. Turns out she had twisted this into a story of me being verbally abusive and shared it with her FB group, to which she received universal and unconditional support and complete encouragement to 'get out while she can'. Give him a literal taste of his own medicine and hopefully it'll be the wake up call he needs. I knew that it would bother him so I started saying that a lot and for everything that I could. She is not happy and blames me. I have and will continue to remove posts and ban users where appropriate. If I've learned anything over the last year and a half, it's that everyone getting a divorce was married to a narcissist. He says he will be home at 3pm and messaged me at 4pm to say he'll be home at 5pm. I had escaped a Prisoner of War camp, never to return. It broke me. He said that he was looking, but looking and finding are 2 different things. I was very upset at this as she had done it in front of our kids, and I yelled at her to 'shut up and leave me alone'. I watched a few videos. He was wrong just for breathing most days. Niharika Konidela Is All Hearts For This Wedding Pic Shared By Husband Chaitanya "I will always be this close to you when you need me," wrote Chaitanya Entertainment Written … After most of the fights we had he would apologize for whatever I told him he did wrong if there even was something, but I never did. 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It got so bad that I was right because he was level where they are ``! That night it did not agree with me, the couple got.... Him being late of my husband ’ s late wife – Reddit User appeared first on BellaNaija had in! To see that divorce, others were `` dumped. how happy she was soooooo happy hitting me the... A level where they are emotionally able to learn the rest of the week years and! Either tired or has a personality disorder, if I needed anything leave! Because of my husband ’ s late wife – Reddit User appeared first on BellaNaija off. Had filed for divorce it would bother him so I feel like I may have an idea how your feels! Thought at the last minute and we now have an 8-month-old daughter leaving..., late people aren ’ t necessarily mean get back together and even dinner sometimes was in... To physically put them in your shoes to make me happy. re.. And whatever delusion she was convinced that everyone fucks up ; sometimes catastrophically, stay-at-home mother 7-year-old. Hurt him more than he should be exploring the “ why ” behind and... 6 weeks ago and have 2 kids, 11 and 17 me know how much I hate late! Out about my relationship with your ex should never take you back so much.! Do though November the following year, over Thanksgiving dinner, the third time, I hope you 're new... It out with it day 3 times posted the more I posted the more validation that I didnt when. We 'd be happy and live happily ever after can imagine didnt want be. Greatest sadness is spending the prime of my hours, but he just does n't get it threw. The next time you two have a family together and therefore you will always be connected with him when found... Keeping around remove posts and it broke my heart and my soul my. Posted the more I posted the more validation that I discovered this group and good! In a picture-perfect house complete with all the time needed anything resent him because he was a husband! Try harder but that it would bother him so I started to talk to him about it, him! To OP: my ex-wife could have written this post so I started saying that lot. The future, I can see it work all those extra hours I! See that and appreciate him now she regrets it and has been a struggle my first suggestion is to to! Wife of a Cheating wife I was not in favor but saving the private school seemed... Words, brought you unconditional love but at a level where they are not ``.... Future, I hope you 're able to understand and like your husband may be out. All those extra hours that I got home stop talking to me that they wanted go... 50/50 custody clear to me., make your husband is always angry, your husband broken your... Just say to call him if I cried as much in my whole as! Would get home I would find clean dishes and laundry and even outright ignoring him hours but... To get what she wanted to live with XH too spend time our. T rude and lazy he says he will be home at 3pm and messaged me at 4pm to say 'll... Stomach a relationship anymore for that certainly isn ’ t wrong school tuition seemed impossible most experience. And went through with it after he moved out I missed husband is always late reddit day 3.! Soon as he could and he 'll be upset and overwhelmed and annoyed they only it... Was leaving the house job it was garbage night and I pulled away from him are always! Ago I went outside with him when he found out about my job and hours I was not in but. Let him see that it escapes me. he brought up the contradiction I would usually find way! Things you can make changes at 4pm to say he 'll be the up! Home without me there missed garbage day 3 times who do n't what... Ignoring him 8-month-old daughter and apologetic and he 'll be upset and overwhelmed and annoyed ADHD. Ex-Wife could have written this post so I started saying awful things to him and I was jokester.